It's been a while but I am BACK

I have been put on notice that I have been remiss in my duties to blog. So I seek to remedy this situation by describing our (mine and my beloved's) lives in this citadel of enlightened reasoning that is Memphis.

To fit in I have started driving like a mentally unbalanced person. The rules here are different for driving and in the spirit of divulging the intimate details of our Memphis existence I have decided to list the driving rules I have learned.

1. If you are at a light and it turns green do not go. Count to five and watch the line of cars that ran the red light (minimum of three) go by and then go.

2. If you are at a red light and someone next to you suddenly appears to "run the red light" from a dead stop do not panic! This is standard Memphis practice where if one stops at a red light and no one is coming from the opposing direction, you gain the right to treat the red light like a stop sign.

3. People will swerve into your lane about every 30 seconds, this is also in line with accepted Memphis rules. Be prepared! If someone swerves into your lane and hits you, it is your fault for not paying attention. It is not their fault for traveling at high speeds while talking on the phone and hitting you with their 1995 Corsica.

I have also had philosophy debates with my future wife about such subjects as:

1. Should we be more scared of the guy who is driving a Range Rover but still feels the need to use pay phones or the guy who apparently is not scared of leaving his Lexus running with the windows down in the gas station parking lot in what us nice folks would call a "questionable neighborhood".

2. Should you allow your future wife to travel alone at night? NO.

3. Are we in an alternate Universe where there is no drugstore but Wal-greens and some ghetto ass place called Ike's Discount Drug?

But hey, the Barbeque is awesome, so all is forgiven right?